Well, Claire has been here for a week and it has been a week full of roller coaster emotions for me. Most of you know, I have been having a hard time adjusting to having two kids. While I am so glad that Claire is here, I can't help but think that I am crazy for having another kid. I keep thinking to myself, "What were you thinking? You can't do this; it's too hard." And don't get me wrong, this is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, and I love Claire, but these are just my thoughts.
I think the hardest part of this transition for me is the fact that Claire was three weeks early and we weren't even the slightest bit prepared. We are playing catch up now, but she isn't supposed to be here for another two weeks and we thought we had all of this time. Also, the breastfeeding has been an issue too. Since she was early she has no idea how to suck, breathe and eat at the same time, since that is what they learn the last couple of weeks in the womb. We finally have gotten her to latch on and that is going great, but after I feed her, then I have to feed her a 2 ounce bottle, and then pump. I am supposed to do this until day 14, and while it has gotten easier, I am still exhausted and angry that I have to do it.
Most of you know that I have also started Zoloft for Postpartum Depression, and while it has helped some, it hasn't helped all of the way. I am still having one melt down a day, and it usually hits about late morning/early afternoon. Jonathon has been so wonderful listening to me and just letting me cry on his shoulder. He has been such a rock for me and I am scared about what is going to happen when he goes back to work tomorrow. I have his sister coming over tomorrow and Tuesday to stay with Olivia and I and then my mom gets here Tuesday afternoon and staying until Friday. While I appreciate their help, they are no Jonathon. Going through what I am going through emotionally, makes me appreciate my husband so much. I never knew how much I loved him until the past few days. He is my rock and my protector and I couldn't imagine my life without him.
Olivia has been an awesome big sister so far. She loves to say hi to Claire and point out her body parts. She loves to help out, even if it means just taking something to the trash or when she sees me cry asking if I am ok. She is so sweet. She has been spending a lot of time with her Aunt Alison and talks about her all day every day. They have been going to the aquarium, ice cream shop, the mall, etc. It has been wonderful to have Alison take her off our hands for a few hours, or come over and play with Olivia while Jonathon and I just try to relax.
Our plan for Olivia is to send her to the baby sitter's every day for a while so she can play with her friends and have fun, instead of sitting here in the house with a mom who is crying her eyes out and a baby. As soon as I feel like I can handle a little more, then we will gradually start having her spend more time at home. I think I will still have her go over there one or two days a week so she gets some socialization with kids her own age.
I know I have already asked many of you with two kids or more how you made the transition, but I would still like to hear from others. I appreciate all of the phone calls and conversations I have had with everyone the past couple of weeks; you have no idea how much they have helped me. Please keep sending encouraging words and prayers for me and the family.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
She's here, she's here!
Yes, you read correctly, Claire Evelyn is here. She made her debut three weeks early but she is doing great and we are both home as of this afternoon.
Friday morning I woke up and went to the bathroom. I noticed something a little unusual and decided I would call my doctor about it when his office opened up. I proceeded to get Olivia out of bed and her breakfast ready. After I sat down, I noticed my stomach was feeling "crampy". I thought maybe it was Braxton Hicks contractions, since I had been having those for a couple of weeks, but became more concerned when they started hurting a little more and coming a little sooner. Finally, the time rolled around and I called my doctor's office and left a message. His nurse called me back about an hour later and I was timing my contractions at this point; they were four minutes apart and lasting 15-20 seconds. She told me to come in for a Sonogram and that my doctor wanted to check me. I immediately called Jonathon and told him to get up to my doctor's office and what was going on. Unfortunately, he had carpooled in to work with his boss that day and didn't have a car, so he called his mom, she picked him up and they both came. It ended up being a blessing in disguise that he didn't drive because Jonathon's mom was able to watch Olivia while I was in with my doctor.
I was in the room when Jonathon came. A few minutes later my doctor came in and examined me. He said I was 1/2 centimeter dilated and nothing else. He told me since I was having contractions, he wanted me to go up to Labor and Delivery and hook me up to the monitors to see what was going on. So, the four of us treked up to Labor and Delivery. We had Jonathon's mom take Olivia to lunch and while they were gone, I was still having contractions, but they were coming irregularly. They gave me some Tributerline to see if that would stop the contractions, but it didn't. My doctor came in and checked me again and said that I had closed. At this point he said I was not in labor and sent me home, but with instructions to come back if things changed. Boy did they.
We came home and I was able to take a nap. When I woke up, I felt fine. I was still having contractions, but nothing had changed since before. We went and ran a few errands and came home. By this point, it was after 9 and my contractions were feeling more intense. I had Jonathon time them, and they were coming every 10-13 minutes and lasting 45 seconds. We then tried to go to sleep, but I couldn't. So, I got up and took a warm bath and thought that might help. Nope. I got back in bed and surfed on the Internet while timing my contractions. They were getting 5-7 minutes apart and lasting 45 seconds. Jonathon was getting so mad at me and said he was going to go sleep down stairs if I couldn't keep quiet. At that point, I exploded at him and told him he was an insensitive jerk and then doubled over in pain. He said for me to get ready, he was taking me to the hospital. I called the on call doctor and told him what we were doing. Jonathon called his sister and she came over and stayed with Olivia. And off we went.
We got up to Labor and Delivery and, I hate to say this, I had a bad nurse. She had great bedside manners, but she was not a good nurse. She tried to get the IV into my hand, since they had used a really good vein earlier in the day, and she didn't insert it right so all of the IV Fluids and medicine they gave me through that IV went straight into my forearm and it was swollen. She couldn't get enough blood out of the IV spot so she had to go to my right arm and left a bruise on it. After I was hooked up to all of the monitors, she kept tripping over the cords.
Finally, about 4 a.m. I got my first dose of pain medicine for the contractions. She told me they would make me loopy, and boy did they ever. A few minutes later, I was giggling and I guess the way I was laying, Claire was sitting on my bladder, because I peed everywhere. But, I was so loopy and out of it, nobody believed me (not to divulge too much, but I also had a pad on and it soaked up all the pee). I was able to get some sleep and woke up about 7 a.m.
The contractions were still coming and I asked my new nurse for some more pain medicine. She gave it to me again, and I remember talking to Jonathon, laughing and then I was out. The on call doctor came in about 8:30 a.m., checked me out and said my cervix was completely thinned and that I was dilated to 3-4 centimeters. He told me he was going to call my doctor and see if he would come in and perform the C-Section. So, they started prepping me.
I walked into the OR and they inserted my Spinal/Epidural medicine. When I was laying on the table, that is when they noticed my IV was put in incorrectly. They were pushing all around it and on it and it hurt so bad, it made me cry. So, they inserted a new one into my other hand. Jonathon came in after they did that and saw me crying and started to worry. I told him what had happened and he calmed down.
Finally, my doctor came in and stood over me and grinned. He said, "You just couldn't wait, could you?", and I said, "No, not me, she couldn't wait" and he laughed.
They got under way and before Jonathon and I knew it, they were popping her out of my belly. Jonathon was able to get some great pictures. We have a photo of the three of us, but I didn't know the nurse was taking pictures so my head is turned looking at the baby, but it works.
Claire Evelyn made her debut on Saturday, November 15, 2008 at 10:09 a.m. She weighed 6 pounds 5 ounces and is 18 inches long. She has a full head of crazy monkey black hair. It is so cute, it spikes up everywhere and even looks like a mohawk down the middle.
Well, sorry, but I gotta run and tend to the little one. Jonathon is out running errands and as soon as he has a minute tonight, I will have him post pictures.
Just wanted to let you all know that we are all doing well. If you call and I don't answer my phone, please do not take it personally. At the moment, I really do not feel like talking on the phone and I will call you back here in the next couple of days as we get situated and get a routine established.
Oh, and yes, Olivia loves her little sister and is adjusting very well. She is going to be a great big sister to Claire and she is just awesome. We love her to pieces, as well as Claire.
Friday morning I woke up and went to the bathroom. I noticed something a little unusual and decided I would call my doctor about it when his office opened up. I proceeded to get Olivia out of bed and her breakfast ready. After I sat down, I noticed my stomach was feeling "crampy". I thought maybe it was Braxton Hicks contractions, since I had been having those for a couple of weeks, but became more concerned when they started hurting a little more and coming a little sooner. Finally, the time rolled around and I called my doctor's office and left a message. His nurse called me back about an hour later and I was timing my contractions at this point; they were four minutes apart and lasting 15-20 seconds. She told me to come in for a Sonogram and that my doctor wanted to check me. I immediately called Jonathon and told him to get up to my doctor's office and what was going on. Unfortunately, he had carpooled in to work with his boss that day and didn't have a car, so he called his mom, she picked him up and they both came. It ended up being a blessing in disguise that he didn't drive because Jonathon's mom was able to watch Olivia while I was in with my doctor.
I was in the room when Jonathon came. A few minutes later my doctor came in and examined me. He said I was 1/2 centimeter dilated and nothing else. He told me since I was having contractions, he wanted me to go up to Labor and Delivery and hook me up to the monitors to see what was going on. So, the four of us treked up to Labor and Delivery. We had Jonathon's mom take Olivia to lunch and while they were gone, I was still having contractions, but they were coming irregularly. They gave me some Tributerline to see if that would stop the contractions, but it didn't. My doctor came in and checked me again and said that I had closed. At this point he said I was not in labor and sent me home, but with instructions to come back if things changed. Boy did they.
We came home and I was able to take a nap. When I woke up, I felt fine. I was still having contractions, but nothing had changed since before. We went and ran a few errands and came home. By this point, it was after 9 and my contractions were feeling more intense. I had Jonathon time them, and they were coming every 10-13 minutes and lasting 45 seconds. We then tried to go to sleep, but I couldn't. So, I got up and took a warm bath and thought that might help. Nope. I got back in bed and surfed on the Internet while timing my contractions. They were getting 5-7 minutes apart and lasting 45 seconds. Jonathon was getting so mad at me and said he was going to go sleep down stairs if I couldn't keep quiet. At that point, I exploded at him and told him he was an insensitive jerk and then doubled over in pain. He said for me to get ready, he was taking me to the hospital. I called the on call doctor and told him what we were doing. Jonathon called his sister and she came over and stayed with Olivia. And off we went.
We got up to Labor and Delivery and, I hate to say this, I had a bad nurse. She had great bedside manners, but she was not a good nurse. She tried to get the IV into my hand, since they had used a really good vein earlier in the day, and she didn't insert it right so all of the IV Fluids and medicine they gave me through that IV went straight into my forearm and it was swollen. She couldn't get enough blood out of the IV spot so she had to go to my right arm and left a bruise on it. After I was hooked up to all of the monitors, she kept tripping over the cords.
Finally, about 4 a.m. I got my first dose of pain medicine for the contractions. She told me they would make me loopy, and boy did they ever. A few minutes later, I was giggling and I guess the way I was laying, Claire was sitting on my bladder, because I peed everywhere. But, I was so loopy and out of it, nobody believed me (not to divulge too much, but I also had a pad on and it soaked up all the pee). I was able to get some sleep and woke up about 7 a.m.
The contractions were still coming and I asked my new nurse for some more pain medicine. She gave it to me again, and I remember talking to Jonathon, laughing and then I was out. The on call doctor came in about 8:30 a.m., checked me out and said my cervix was completely thinned and that I was dilated to 3-4 centimeters. He told me he was going to call my doctor and see if he would come in and perform the C-Section. So, they started prepping me.
I walked into the OR and they inserted my Spinal/Epidural medicine. When I was laying on the table, that is when they noticed my IV was put in incorrectly. They were pushing all around it and on it and it hurt so bad, it made me cry. So, they inserted a new one into my other hand. Jonathon came in after they did that and saw me crying and started to worry. I told him what had happened and he calmed down.
Finally, my doctor came in and stood over me and grinned. He said, "You just couldn't wait, could you?", and I said, "No, not me, she couldn't wait" and he laughed.
They got under way and before Jonathon and I knew it, they were popping her out of my belly. Jonathon was able to get some great pictures. We have a photo of the three of us, but I didn't know the nurse was taking pictures so my head is turned looking at the baby, but it works.
Claire Evelyn made her debut on Saturday, November 15, 2008 at 10:09 a.m. She weighed 6 pounds 5 ounces and is 18 inches long. She has a full head of crazy monkey black hair. It is so cute, it spikes up everywhere and even looks like a mohawk down the middle.
Well, sorry, but I gotta run and tend to the little one. Jonathon is out running errands and as soon as he has a minute tonight, I will have him post pictures.
Just wanted to let you all know that we are all doing well. If you call and I don't answer my phone, please do not take it personally. At the moment, I really do not feel like talking on the phone and I will call you back here in the next couple of days as we get situated and get a routine established.
Oh, and yes, Olivia loves her little sister and is adjusting very well. She is going to be a great big sister to Claire and she is just awesome. We love her to pieces, as well as Claire.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Picture Post
Hey all! We are back from our trip, but I am too tired to write a post, so I am posting pictures. Let's face it, that is really why you all come here, right? :)
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